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Santa Was A Pirate

by Michael Averill

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A heart warming exposé of Santa's true origins.

lyrics

Did you know that Santa Claus was a little different back in the day
No he wasn’t always the jolly soul
Like he’s commonly portrayed

He used to wear a pair of metal gloves
The fingers were sharp like blades
He was robbin’ ships and coastal towns
And sailin’ out on the crashing waves

Well did you know that...
Santa was a pirate
I know it may be hard to believe
That the public figure you know and love
Could be capable of criminal activity

But Santa fell on hard times
Started runnin’ with the shady crowd
Lost sight of right from wrong
No longer could he tell his ups from downs

But he could only keep that up so long
At the heart that wasn’t Santa’s song
When he felt that he needed a change
He enrolled himself in counselling and sensitivity training

And Santa had an a lightbulb
An epiphany so they say
Went from takin’ to givin’, from stealin’ to livin’
And decided to give up his pirate ways

And yeah, Santa got made over
Went from lemon to lemonade
Traded in his ship and crew
For a bunch of reindeer and a fancy sleigh yeah

Went from Captain to Santa Claus
Ditched naughty for nice
Gave up his yarr for a jolly laugh
Found himself a sweet old wife

He switched treasure for presents
Traded open sea for snow
Flipped bottles of rum for milk and cookies
Left the Caribbean, and set sail for the North Pole

Now listen up…Santa never liked complainers
Or those who don’t give their thanks
So if you wind up with coal on Christmas day
Just be thankful that he didn’t make ya walk the plank

And if you’re ever feelin’
Broken or beatin’ down
Always remember
That even pirates can turn their lives around
Yes they can

Can I get a Yo Ho Ho (Yo Ho Ho)
Can I get a Ho Ho Ho (Ho Ho Ho)
Can I get a Yo Ho Ho (Yo Ho Ho)
Can I get a Ho Ho Ho (Ho Ho Ho)

Strangely similar, aren't they?

Yeah, Santa was a pirate
The evidence is just too strong
If you doubt what I’m sayin’
Ever wonder how rum ended up in eggnog?

credits

released December 18, 2023
Written and Performed by Michael Averill
Produced, Mixed, and Mastered by mixmatchedsocksproductions.com

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Michael Averill Kelowna, British Columbia

Wanderer….Philosopher….Fun Doctor…..This tradesman of sound was born to bring people together, to make light of a troubled day, and to administer a steady I.V. of positivity to the world. Emerging in Vancouver as an intriguing Folk artist and community builder, his magnetic melodies and warm demeanor unite for an experience that dissolves woes and change perspectives. ... more

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